The Existential Search for what we already Possess - Conscious Feminine Medicine
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The Existential Search for what we already Possess

The Existential Search for what we already Possess

A person expressing freedom - reaching up into the sky against a sunset.


The Existential Search for what we already Possess
First of all, I want to say, what you think you want is not what will make you truly happy!
Everyone has heard the saying that once we have what we want we will be happy, and we all know that is seldom the case. Many times we think that when we have the nice house, or achieve a greater level of success that it will fulfill us and give us that complete satisfaction.  Usually these material things leave us feeling empty after the initial excitement has diminished. Then, we set our sights on the next thing that will make us happy. There are millions of successful books out there that teach us about creating our reality, but they usually leave us feeling empty as well.
When I was young, I lived with my mother alone, and I wanted nothing more than to have a father.  I saw other families around me and dreamed of how wonderful it would be if I had a father like they did. This was the complete solution to all my worries. It would solve my feelings of loneliness, unworthiness, and abandonment. In my mind, I wished for a father so that I would have guidance and know what to do in my world. For years, I would quietly feel the despair, hopelessness, and sadness of not having what I wanted. I continuously obsessed and daydreamed about how my life would be so much happier and perfect if I did have one.
So around 10 years old, my mother got remarried and all of a sudden I had a father. I was so elated; here was my chance to have the father that I had longed for the last 10 years of my life; the perfect answer I thought I needed was supposed to make my life happier. And so as you can imagine, that lasted a very short period of time. Old feelings of being left out and loneliness started creeping back in again as I saw my mother as a couple with my new father.
I quickly started to feel the undertow of my unhappiness again. All the old feelings reappeared and I realized having this ‘father’ didn’t really change how I was feeling about my reality and myself.
You could say that having a different father would have made me feel good. It might have even made the difference I was searching for but the reality is that the greater gift was actually not having it. It allowed me to not mistakenly rely on something outside myself for my worth, for my happiness and for my fulfillment. Essentially, this lead me to discover my true worth of the sacred divine light that we all are.
It had taken me years to realize that I did get the ‘father’ I was longing for, and it still did not make me complete.
Many patients come to me asking for help with creating change in their body; usually due to health challenges.  But underneath these challenges in their bodies, there is a layer of wanting something different … somehow hoping that their bodies gave them different answers; whether its conceiving a child, losing weight, etc. With the feeling they will gain their happiness when they obtain these.  In other words, they think that the child or the new body image for example, will make them happy, complete, whole, and joyous.
I recognize this pattern well, for I too, have dealt with body challenges in health and in image.  Even though it is easy to believe that what will make you happy is right there for you to attain, I want women to recognize that what they think will make them happy is truly an illusion of our minds. More so, their challenge in their bodies or in their lives is present so that they may awaken a deeper dimension within themselves. A dimension where they can find a true source of happiness.  I believe that what I experienced early on in life, even though it was tough, was an awakening to what really makes us happy and fulfilled.
The key to resolving our challenge is reconnecting and acknowledging that you already have what you need even if you don’t know it.  You are the primordial source that contains the sacredness, joy, beauty, unconditional love, peace and so many more qualities.  It is what your spirit is made from.  This is you.  We have all been conditioned to look for this missing piece outside ourselves in some form. But the true happiness is in our formless Essence, which we already are.  It is the consciousness that you are… and everything else is a manifestation of that consciousness in one form or another.
We can pursue what we ‘think’ we are desiring to fulfill us, to make us happy… but this is just the minds idea of what you need. The truth is, we already have all that we are desiring.
Our happiness and fulfillment is not dependent on an outside source, a house, a child… a perfect looking body… a successful career; It is the ability to feel loved, to feel valued, to feel safe. These are wired within us, in our sacred essential nature, in our spirit. We carry these ‘qualities’ within our being and it’s a matter of opening ourselves to this reality of consciousness within, and shifting our perception.
There is nothing wrong with creating and having ‘things’ outside ourselves. It is what I call ‘consciously creating’ out of an extension of this fulfilled divine light within ourselves. Which is, our nature – not from a place of emptiness and neediness. In this way. you are creating and extending this light in your being rather than creating an out of body need or greed for satisfaction.
Your happiness and fulfillment starts with feeling your beautiful sacred light and discovering thePOWER in your light.   When we resonate with this, we allow consciousness to create through us; extending the love, the beauty, the joy… the peace and then of course, enjoying that new conscious creation in your life.



Love & Light

Dr. Leonor Murciano




Dr. Murciano is the founder of Nourishing Women, author of Feminine Wisdom; Rise of a New Creation, and creator of Conscious Feminine Medicine- helping women change the collective story of the Feminine, weaving Feminine Spirituality with Medicine.

If you are a WOMAN and would like to explore healing of body & soul, we invite you to a 30-minute complimentary online consultation with Dr. Leonor Murciano at  

To join our community of Conscious Feminine Medicine and receive FREE Dr. Murciano’s 7 keys to Body Blueprint Activation E-book & Meditation Audio, 

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